Sunday, December 23, 2007

Bethlehem’s Star

It is said that the star was bright
that night.

It is said that the ground was white
that night.

Who is looking up at the sky
tonight ?

Who is lowering and thoughts arising
tonight

under the starlight
as thousands years ago

that night.

Friday, November 16, 2007

An Easy Life

It's too late, when I found Sunny smiling dreamingly and standing side by side with her father in a large beam of autumn morning sunshine pouring down the aisle. They were reading the scarlet booklet!

It was Saturday morning, after the morning jobs in bathroom, Philip got a good mood from the pleasant sunlight on the windowsill, and finally decided to make a compromise which was a wise husband always could do at the last minute before conditions going worse. It was not easy for me that I had been persisting for several months on influencing, persuading, negotiating, bargaining, and threatening Philip to tidy up his mountains of documents, papers, and magazines, which was sleeping in every pieces of flat surface, tucked into every corners with a little depth as soon as they were delivered into the room, except the pile in his bathroom which has been kept updating everyday.

Without having breakfast, Philip zealously pulled his piles down to the floor, sorting and reading the papers piece by piece as if he was fossicking the sand like a gold fever, while Sunny was busy with the missions of the Penguin's Club.

I didn't know how it happened. Perhaps it was Philip who dug the scarlet booklet out of the trash mass and then raised from the dusk leaping rays, granting his lamb with his great glory holy.

"Sunny, you're rich!" With exaggerated smiling on his sweating face, Philip spoke to Sunny fawningly.

The scarlet booklet, a bank deposit book, recorded Sunny's lucky money amounted to RMB 11,710 received from her grandparents, aunts, and uncles in the Chinese New Year from 2003 to 2005.

It is a Chinese tradition that senior people give juniors lucky money which usually tucked in fancy red envelopes. Theoretically, lucky money is a blessing ceremony more than its value. When I once was young enough to have this privilege, a rural old lady fumbled about in her pocket with her quivering hand, and foisted into my hands a red pack which was as crumply as her face, containing only one piece of ten cents' bill, which was even crimpier than the wrap. But the warmth and the sweetness of this memory was definitely beyond the bill’s value and the space and time. In recent decades, more and more people come to attach importance to the amount, and for somebody, for certain purpose, it would be a more convenient tool than the payment around Majhong table.

Sunny was reading the booklet in a dreaming sheen. I knew she was calculating how many American Girl Doll she could buy with the money under her name. From the day in a magazine she knew about that there was such adorable thingy in this world, she began to set a value on all items in this universe with American Girl Doll. After a couple of uncomfortable months when she saved every coins or bills she got from her monthly allowance, a few income or bonus by washing her underwear and getting up early, winning extra bonus from Mrs. Clark the principal for the first reading score in the 3rd grade, or ramping her father, one day she finally triumphantly strode into the American Girl Place located at 111 East Chicago Avenue, Chicago. With her eyes open wide and her hands itch, she purchased her first American Girl Doll whom named Mary soon after. But her bud of greed was not nipped; she soon worried about her Mary's winter clothes, summer dresses, furniture, purses, or another doll which she understood I would never approve.

Even though RMB 11,710 is not enough to do anything really useful, but to let a kid to employ or to know owning such giant possession, which would surely be a giant treasure for a kid, must be sinful and uncomfortable like a guy is lecturing on platforms while a tiny stone hiding in his shoe constantly remind him of it’s existence. In this consideration, like most Chinese parents would do, I saved the money in a bank, a safe place which is the only choice for Chinese people for a long time.

"You!" I stared at Philip with all my electricity enough to drive an electric chair.
"What?" Philip responded as innocent as Forest Gump, and then this troublemaker slipped away and disappeared among his piles.

I asked Sunny, "Is it much?" I meant the money in the booklet.
"Yes." Sunny echoed me from her dream remotely.
"Our family monthly consumption is RMB10K, almost is the same with your money, do you still think your money is much?" I asked further.
"No, not much," she was awakening, "but it is still good to me." Bringing her dream and the booklet, she went into her room.
I pried into her room from the sunny aisle. Sunny was sitting at her desk, lowering her head, thinking.

Well, this is a giant wealth for her, who always want to embrace all the dolls in American Girl Place, and always self-control the desires bitterly.
But how long we could protect this dream for her? The CPI in August was 6.5% higher than the past 12 months, it is the fourth rising month of the year, and it will surly continue on and on while the bank interest can not catch up with its pace even if after five rises.

As soon as I grounded China from a shining mountain, I was shocked to see something has been changing profoundly, enormously, and gravely. Signboards in restaurants said: rising! one of my favorite newspaper doubled it’s price; shopping in Sam’s club weekly, I never can remember where had my car parked in the giant parking lot, and I never can remember the unit price of the groceries, but what I know now is that the purchase amount for my small family has been rising from RMB400 to RMB1000, which was the same amount with I did in Costco, Chicago. My real estates zoomed as three times as I purchased it 6 years ago, but rentals stay in a flat level. All off these happened within one year when I absented from China. I couldn’t recollect any comparative experience in the memory of my past 30 years.

Ten years later, Sunny might think her mother was so mean and sick that had been so gingerly and secretly saving the small money just enough to buy several pieces of candy.

"What shall we do with the money?" in the aisle I blocked Philip who was sweating blood to load his dusty magazines out of rooms.
"Invest!" Philip gasped, detouring towards the gate.
"Stock?" I asked the shifting object.
"Whatever." Philip answered me with his back.

Differentiating from the price raising a few years ago, when I heard about some Chinese people stored foodstuff, televisions, refrigerators to protect their money, this time they choose to invest stock markets. From early of this year, the stock index has been keeping growing up from 2700 in February to 6,124 in October. Fast lessons on stock investment would hit your sight on every street. My friends, Tian Qian, began to educate his 9-year old son to read graphs, buying and selling stocks with his lucky money; Jiangying, who was a manager in a join-venture company, sold and bought his stocks in working time, and he told me a few days ago that stock business was the first and the job was in the second place.

Papers said this was a Panic Investment.

"I think you should have a talk with your daughter." I seized Philip on his way back.
"What talk?"
"About the money. Tell her something morn important than American Girl Doll, and let her know she is growing taller and taller while money might become shorter and shorter."
"Why me? I am busy enough." Philip flung his grey dusty hands in the air crossly.
"Who opened the Pandora's Box? Who studied Money Management in Kent law school? And who is going to fix the lunch for all creature in this house?" I pronounced as an odour of sweet soy-sauce stews pork flowing in the air from our neighborhood, and I believed that Philip’s empty stomach would surly stand on my side.
"sweet soy-sauce stews pork?" Philip asked hopefully.
"No," I answered evilly, "too difficult."
"Sunny, we will have a talk." Philip raised his head and exclaimed as he swaggered into Sunny’s room.

In practice, Philip was not a perfect person to act the role of a financial teacher. In an April of four years ago, he purchased his Audi A6 2.5TDI in RMB500,000, but by the end of the month, the price was bitterly dropped to RMB410,000, and currently stand firm on RMB350,000. Philip could do nothing but slaying the salesman savagely in the phone, and then became a remarkable VIP memeber in a car owner club. A May of six years ago, I stuck to my colors to buy this apartment, he had been keeping his complaining until our property was boosted dramatically with the market fluctuating, and now he begun to moan, "Why didn’t we buy more at that time?"

The door bell rang while I was exploring the refrigerator to form a scheme about the lunch. As I prefigured, standing at the door in a brown uniform the small, slim, and brown woman, with a wisp of hair drooping down the forehead, as if she never could afford the time to spruce it up. She took charge of the sanitary of this building, and was inquiring me humbly in her Hunan accent, "The books, you don't want anymore?" She was referring the piles Philip placed at the doorway.

I knew her job could barely provide a bottom-line wage, so recycle waste became an important extra income. All she could earn would be a primary supporting for her family, the kids and parents, and maybe, brothers and sisters, in a faraway countryside. Therefore, when we deal with some neat trash, such as books, papers, clothes, we just put them at the doorway instead of dumping in the trash bin. I thought it might be better for the lady. At the mean time, I knew there was another lady at the root of the building, sitting beside the sidewalk waiting for this trash everyday, and that would be her only earning. But how much I could do for them?
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's too heavy to put in the bin. Please do help me to get rid of. Thank you!" I was pretending having no idea about her intention. It might be better for her, I thought.

As I returned to my Kitchen, a lunch menu was set up. Noodle! Sunny like it, Philip always oppose it, but it's fast and easy, which is the most important for a lunch. Sweet soy-sauce stews pork? Under the governing of a mean, evil housewife, you guys have no choice. I couldn't understand how my neighbor could manage such complicated dish at noon!

I grabbed all the material I need out of the refrigerator, ground pork, mushrooms, carrots, a pack of lettuce, a box of tofu, and a jar of Miso. To make up a simple lunch never need a recipe.

A cool breeze flooded into the kitchen from the window, rustling the Sam's club's shopping bags left on the floor. Autumn is a pleasant season in Guangdong, it is not hot as summer and not humid as spring, but it is not cold enough to put on a coat, and would be blaming hot sometimes. People have to be strong to resist the cool and blaming hot with the bare skin at the same time.

"A changeable weather. An unstable life." I reflected as I thawed the ground pork in the microwave oven, and throw the vege-stuff into the sink.

Life is so unstable. Look forward, the vision of the future is unclear; look back, neither experiences nor predecessors could we rely on. So many opportunities we have to identify; so many crossroads we have to ponder. The only thing the Chinese people had learnt for so many years is to disbelieve everything, but money is the last alternative they could lean upon. Furthermore, the more bothersome is that no matter how much money they would have, they could not buy them enough security, while a majority of Chinese people are still struggling to survive.

Having the carrots, mushrooms, and tofu chopped into small cubes, and the lettuce token apart, I thought about our family security system. We have a bundle of crazy insurance in AIA, with a giant premium as much as a yearly income of a white-collar, while it could cover nothing, at least I could not feel any benefit towards our daily life, and its value were shrinking as the inflation going on. Besides this, we have social insurance.

To buy social insurance for employees is an obligation according to labor law, and should be paid by employer and employee dividually, covering Medicine, Work-related Injury Insurance, Unemployment Compensations, and Pension. The premium will be calculated base on employee's salary. As far as I knew, few companies will not buy full insurance according to employees’ real salary just in order to reduce company's cost. Employers usually fake a payroll and pay a bottom fare just enough to walk through the obligation under the law. Employees, including the staffs in high class, like general manager, do not care about their future benefits were
reducing. The less payment cause the less benefit one will get, especially in the Pension part, but they do not believe that the government could give them a good future, so they would have more income in hand rather than paying to the government for the unpredictable, uninsured future. And the people's concern seemed to be proved by the events happened in Shanghai and Guangzhou that the social insurance fund, the money the common people pay in the name of social insurance was peculated by some government officials.

Linda, a friend told me before long her mother-in-law past away,"You would never know how useless the social insurance is untill you are really ill."

Long Yongtu, secretary general of Boao Forum for Asia, China, the former vice minister for Foreign Trade, alleged on 12th Sep. CBD International Forum, Beijing that, "Aged supporting problem could not rely on government." Philip commented, "Yes, it's true, because government never do anything about this."

Dry noodles were done in boiled water, and the ground pork was made into a thick and glossing sauce with the cubes of carrot, mushroom, and tofu. Lettuce was scalded in water slightly and seasoned with sesame oil and oyster sauce. And the soup, laver egg soup was always a beneficial choice. I was content for such a lunch. It's simple, nice and nourishing, but boring, a little bit.

Life in China is easy, if you do not think about the future. Or maybe life is born to be easy, don't think too much!

"Lunch is ready!" I broadcasted.

Philip came out of Sunny's room.
I asked, "How's the money talk?"
"Well done!" Philip answered cunningly. "Sunny found out something more important and economic than the American Girl Doll."
"What's it?” It boded me no good.
"She understood that it would be more economic for her if we gave her a baby sister instead of purchasing a new doll by herself with the lucky money. Also, a baby sister is more important."

They touched the button!

"Yes!" Sunny jumped out of the bathroom and yelled excitedly,"Then I can go to the Yale and Harvard but baby sister can only go to Kent!"

Philip smiled, bitterly.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

HARVEST

Sunny was excited for the Halloween party in English-Ing, our neighbor, an English educational institution residing in the mid-layer between 1st and 2nd floor, where was the old location of EF before I went to Chicago. We were not their membership or student, but I thought they were doing a business promotion so they won’t refuse us to take part in the party.

Sunny completed her homework early. After supper, she changed clothes, combed hair, pined a little crown on her hair, and took a basket with some candies, we started off.

I told Sunny on the way, “Don’t hope too much. This is China, not Chicago.”

Stepped into the lobby, the light was dim and the floor was scattering pieces tissues, which I wondered if were a part of the decoration. A staff greeted us and indicated us to go inner portion.

Walking along a dark aisle with a cluster of black balloon hanged along the wall, we heard a human being’s noises mixed with some sounds made by percussion instruments, and then a flock of people were found crowding at the turning of the other end of the aisle.

In the torch light occasionally flashed out of the screens of the class room lining along two sides of the aisle, I could see some kids were peeking into the rooms through the glasses, screaming. Adults, who looked like the kids’ parents, were fussing around and busy like bees with looking for their unfound kids.

Later, a group of kids came out of a room, wearing costumes made with old bed sheets, or with rough make up on faces.

Everything looked so shaggy, shabby, and shoddy! This was a super boring event.

Sunny won’t let me go, while she was busy with exploring every room. I had not choice but standing there, leaning against the wall of the aisle, holding Sunny’s candy basket, reminding me of the old bald lady standing at the door of Starbucks in the corner of Clinton and Adams.

Last autumn we were in Chicago. To us, the Halloween was the most enchanted one in the western traditional festival. We had known a lot about Christmas, but Halloween would be a brand new experience.

From the early October, I found that at the doors of the houses near Sunny’s school were decorated by pumpkins, corns, and dead-headed lanterns. Sometimes, when I was walking down the street to pick up Sunny, I could find a squirrel jumped on the grass carrying a corn under the half yellowed trees which I could not tell the name.

On 28th, Philip invited us to take part in a pumpkin carving party in Kent, there Sunny carved her first Jack-o'-lantern.

Oh, those busy days! We devoted every weekend for the rehearsal of Nutcracker Children Cast in the Joffrey Ballet’s studio located on 1# north State Street. Thus we could not miss the events happened in downtown.

From the mid of October, the fountain in Daley Plaza was found to be dyed into orange, and then a Haunted Village was set up bit by bit within two weeks later. Pumpkins were decorated on the dark cyan walls, and ghost figures were leaning out of the windows. The Halloween smell was gathering up here.

A parade happened on October 21, 2006 at 12:00pm at the Corner of State and Randolph. Sunny dressed up as Merlin although she died for a Snow White’s costume, which I thought the price $44 was too much for such a cheesy dress. Anyway, Sunny’s Merlin character was completed satisfied me, she looked just like a real magician who was wise and well educated. We followed the parade in a circle, and stopped in Daley Plaza, where gathered thousand people to watching circus, and, for the candies.

Two girls were coveting the candies in my basket.
I announced, “trick or treat!”
They did not understand and said in Chinese to me, “Can we eat?”
“No. You give me.” I responded evilly for I had no authority to expense the candies, but I could increase their quantity, it would be fun.

The most exciting episode of Halloween was “trick or treat”, which we could not omit.

But I was hesitating. We lived in PT, a big building where inhabited mainly by foreigners, such as Indian, Korean, and Chinese. Sunny had decided to knock on every door in this building, how much did these foreigners accepted this typical western tradition and would give a piece of candy to a strange kid standing at the door? Besides, it would be a super stupid thing if I accompanied Sunny to ask for candies, but was it safe enough for a little girl roaming around the 49 floors in this towered up building? I was not sure.

After dinner, a slightly knocking and a sweet “trick or treat” penetrated into my room. We bubbled up, dashing to open the door. A little Indian with bright big dark eyes and dark skin, no more than three-year old, accompanying by the mother was standing at my door. We gave the kid candies joyfully.

Greatly inspired by the little Indian, Sunny carried her pumpkin basket and began her march. I set up a time bar, 10 minutes later, I must see her back.In the first round, Sunny was back with an empty basket. I granted her another 10 minutes, and this time Sunny was back with a beaming happiness, she had a full basket!

Purportedly, her fortune began from an old man who was holding a cat when he unloaded a handful candies into Sunny’s basket. And then, a Korean young man had not candy but gave her a heavy bucket of ice cream instead. An Indian man seemed had no idea about “trick or treat”, lazily fetch out a bill; Sunny was scared and run away.

Sunny got a good harvest in the Halloween in Chicago, 2006.

Suddenly, Sunny appeared in front of me out of a room, with several ugly strokes of make up in her face. I said, “Forgot to tell you, don’t let any make up stay on your face.”
“I know, it can be washed.” Sunny answered.
“I wait for you in the lobby.”
“Shall we go now?”
“Yes, I hope.”

Such fluent English!

I could feel that several spotlights of envying eye focused on us. I really enjoyed and I did consider that we were really worthy all of them, because we had invested so much efforts, pain, tears, and blood, which would sure gain good harvest gradually, in the coming days.

Friday, October 19, 2007

A Shame

A Shame

“Shame on you!” Philip said without turning his eyes to me from the television where two herds of man were tracing a round solid object colored in black and white named by human on this earth for soccer or football. I realized that I had made a mistake for which only an angel or a creature from the Mars could get an excuse. I just wanted to clarify the differences between the National Congress of the Communist Party of China (CPC) and the National People's Congress (NPC), or, exactly, I wanted to know other person’s feeling towards such issue.

The two conventions are alike in many ways, the issues they discuss, the participants, the institutions, and the leaders; especially both of the two are paid by tax. The two conventions, if they are the same, why they are separated? If not, why they are doing the same thing? Every Chinese people are concerning this event because it is relating to the stock markets, real estates, people’s life, national development, all of which are the affairs of the state, while I am amazed to see the state issues they are talking about in this party’s convention are like something in their pocket.

I am so deficient in politics that I always have an itch to touch a button even though I know there is always a solid answer which is not fun, not surprise at all.

“Apparently, you were not a good student and you did not grasp what you should have learned in the law school.” Philip continued.

When I was in law school, I did not understand why it was named “Politics & Law”, for I was born to hope that law might be mere knowledge of law and separated from politics, at least in the portion of lawyer or Legal Philosophy. Therefore I kept a distance from a mainstream, while many students joined CPC and hope, by this way, to get a promising future, while all people in my family, my father, mother, sisters and their husbands were CPC member.

“I could understand what the NPC is by consulting the constitution, but how could I know what the CPC’s congress is?” I was striving to vindicate myself.
“By consulting the Party Constitution.” Philip spoke to the screen.
“I am not a CPC’s member. I am just a citizen of this country, why I should read the Party Constitution? Is the State Constitution not enough?” In fact, I couldn’t recollect the Party Constitution was a lesson in Chinese law schools.

“Because CPC is the governing party.”

Staring at Philip’s left side face in the dark, which was illuminated by the beam radiating from the screen, flicking with the action of the soccer men on the green field, I could imagine how stupid my eyes would be. I am suspecting that I was losing clear-headedness during these two months after coming back from the U.S.
“Governing party”, this is the solid answer which I am lured to overstep. It would be dangerous, so it would be spicy.

“Good shot!” Philip shouted. As I looked at the screen, a man in a red uniform was dancing on the grass wildly.
“I thought,” I spoke to the dancing man, “Politics & Law was an ugly name.”
“Me too,” Philip said, “I didn’t like it, but I had to learn it well.”
“CPC has its own logic which is supported by Marxism, with the addition of Jiang Zemin’s theory the three represents,” Philip recited fluently, “the Party should always represent the development needs of China's advanced social productive forces; always represent the onward direction of China's advanced culture; and always represent the fundamental interests of the largest.”
“Even Prof. Cho could understand it, but I don’t understand why you can not understand.”
“Because Prof. Cho is from Korea but I am from Mars.” This was a self-mockery.

“CPC is the boss of the country and is beyond the state constitution. NPC implements CPC’s policy and laws are just one of tools for CPC.” Philip was preceding his lesson, “you graduated from law school and you once were a Chinese lawyer, so you ought to know something better than normal people.”

“I can not understand it from the angle of law, but you can understand because you accept the reality.” My reaction was a bit hollow, for I am not sure what kind of law perspective I possess. Who could act the judger and by which rules to judge, the Western or the Chinese?

“But,” Philip paused for a second, “once I explained this to a classmate from Germany, he compared CPC with Nazi. I could not respond him at the time, but I agreed with him afterwards, the dictatorship, brainwash, etc.”

Brainwash, in Chinese, has a term called “unifying thoughts”. All of Chinese people receive Marxism education when they are young. Sunny and the South Korean kids and the blond ones in her school, like all the elementary students in China, vowed to the red flag and then became a young pioneer of CPC, marked by wearing Red Scarf. When I was twelve, I received Marxism lessons in middle school. And then, in high school, in college, this kind of lesson, Marxist dialectical materialism and the history overwritten according to Marxist historical materialism was repeated again and again, resulted in distorting the knowledge about the whole nation’s history and culture.

In the autumn of 1989, after the failure of the student’s movement in Tiananmen Square, I resumed our semester in the law school. Students were imposed to confess and declare in classes. It is at that time I discovered my potential comedic talent, because my presentation made all the class burst into laugh. But that night, when I listened to the effulgent Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 from the headphone in my dormitory, I burst into tears, for I found that the heaven was so distant while reality was so ugly.

As to the National Day on 1st October, year by year they continued the same deceit and strengthen this logic: state = motherland = CPC.

Philip’s sounds echoed in the dark, “I once hoped that Hu could do something since he emphasized reformation of political system early of this year. But after the dinner with Prof. Jiang, I understood that a person could do nothing to the inertia which has been piling up for five thousands years.”
Prof. Jiang is a rare scholar who can give keys to a lot of question on history, legal, and current society. We had a nice talk on 8th October.

I slippered across the living room to my study and check some information before going to bed. I logged on a forum which I took charge of the system operation, and a message forwarded by the forum’s owner jumped out, asking me to pay more attention on messages about Dalai Lama.

Actually, before the 17th CPC congress, by the end of September, polices had reinforced control of websites, once any unsuitable information was found by cyber polices, the forum would be closed for good. In order to avoid disasters, most forums had to take the safest way that all posts should be checked by the background processor like me before they could appear on websites.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama appeared on CNN on morning, and at night I was informed to delete any relevant information. Chinese Cyber polices will be especially busy these days.

Shutting down the computer and turning off the kitchen light, I announced, “With lonely soul, all my life,” Philip shot me a glance before he turned back to his soccer game, and I swallowed the rest words as I walked to the bedroom, squeezing my frozen left shoulder, “since this world doesn’t work in my logic.”

It is a shame that I am not smart, not crazy, not diligent, and not romantic enough, but, yeah, it is a fortune to this world that not many people are capable to become Bin Laden, Che Guevara, or Karl Marx, the human being who drove the planet to chase their logic.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Chinese Cyberpolices are Busy

His Holiness the Dalai Lama appeared on screen of CNN this morning; tonight I was informed to supervise a forum from the background process, and must to delet any relevant information before which was published.
Once this kind of information was found by Cybrpolices, the forum would be closed for good.

Chinese Cyberpolices will be Busy tonight!




Monday, July 9, 2007

Farewell

My Friends: No one, not in my situation, can appreciate my feeling of sadness at this parting. To this place, and the kindness of these people, I owe everything. Here I have lived a quarter of a century and have passed from a young to an old man. Here my children have been born, and one is buried. I now leave, not knowing when or whether ever I may return, with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington. Without the assistance of that Divine Being who ever attended him, I cannot succeed. With that assistance, I cannot fail. Trusting in Him who can go with me, and remain with you, and be everywhere for good, let us confidently hope that all will yet be well. To His care commending you, as I hope in your prayers you will commend me, I bid you an affectionate farewell.

Abraham Lincoln's FAREWELL ADDRESS AT SPRINGFIELD

(February 11, 1861)

Friday, July 6, 2007

Culture's Corpse

"How do Chinese feel about losing so much of their architectural heritage?" Prof. Gerber's question reminded me of something in my childhood.

I can't remember how old I was on the day when the news exploded in the class. A boy, one of my classmates in The 25th Primary School, his home was destroyed by a fire.

In those days, all of us had no pocket money, and we had no idea about donation, or goodwill cards. What we could do was to write an awkward letter to him, and then, gathering on the sidewalk opposite of his fire-burned home, gazing at the two carbonize window frames at the third floor of the building. All our curious were satisfied, and all our excitement was calmed to sigh, including the regret for missing the grand spectacle of the fire.
I was there, among these boys and girls, but I was distracted by the figure on the stone carving above the two black holes, which were the former windows. I was wondering whether the figure on the stone was a lion or a monkey. When I looked around, I found every building along this street was individuated by heavy and complicated sculpture decoration.

This was my first time to notice these beautiful building in my hometown, Foshan, one of the four famous ancient town aged over thousand years in China.

In the romantic years, I liked to sit on the backseat of my boyfriend’s bicycle, and cruised around the town to view the attractive old buildings. At this age, I was able to identify the Byzantine, Romanesque, Gothic, Baroque, and Rococo elements from the visuals of Fu Lu Shou (three Chinese lucky gods), and Ba Xian Guo Ha (The Eight Immortals Cross The Sea) carved in the poles, roofs, and arches.


This kind of building, usually, had two floors, while some of them may have three layers. The first floor was used as store, and the upper floors reached out above sidewalks, looking like they were riding above the sidewalk, so they were called Qi Lou (riding building).

Partially, Qi Lous were built around one hundred years ago, between the Qing Dynasty and the period of Republic of China, by the overseas Chinese who returned home after getting fame or money from Canada, Australia, or U.S. This is why they could creatively compounded the western style with Chinese traditional elements.

The Overseas Chinese, with historic significance, characterize the Guangdong culture; and Qi Lou is the symbol for this historic era and generation.
Foshan's Qi Lou may be not as delicate as the others in Guangzhou or somewhere else, but it surely was a part of the life style in the passed years.

After the boyfriend became a husband, and I became a mother, occasionally, I would go back to this old town to show my daughter what I was interested when I was a kid. To my disappointed, each time I found that the Qi Lous were being licked up by the glass-curtain wall buildings and giant shopping malls. The local style was cover with the modern building by the government’s Old City Rebuilding Program.



Situation in other area, for example, Kai Ping, a small county nearby my home town, might be better. The local government was inspired by the 1,833 Diao Lous (watch towers) scattering in the 16 townships on the plain, and set up Tourism Development Plan, so that some major historical and cultural sites are under protected at the national level. In this reason, Qi Lous, however, which were not as brilliant as Diao Lous, were fortunately brought into protection in this area.

Diao Lou

Diao Lou

No matter destroying or protecting as tourism resource, Qi Lous and Diao Lous, these one hundred age’s historic architecture are going far away from people’s daily life, to say nothing of the architecture over hundreds or thousands years, like Forbidden City, Great Wall, . Is there anything to do with common people, excepting they occasionally buying one or two tickets to visit these sites? How these people can concern something that they could not see, touch, feel, and breath everyday? If I ask an Egyptian, Greek, Hindu, or Chinese, “Do you love to live with traditional architecture?” Am I sure to get a positive answer? Apartments may be the better choice for them, I guess.

Trees will die without earth and water, even if they were as tall as reaching the sky.
Cultural heritage can not survive if it only stays in tourism places and museums, where what we can see is heritage culture's corpse, dead culture.



Qi Lous in Kai Ping County

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Tune: "Bells Ringing in the Rain"

By Liu Yong
[North Song Dynasty]
Cicadas chill

And drearily shrill,

We stand face to face at an evening hour

Before the pavilion, after a sudden shower.

Can I care for drinking befor we part?

At the city gate

Where we're lingering late,

But the boat is waiting for me to depart.



Hand in hand, we gaze at each other's tearful eyes

And burst into sobs with words congealed on our lips.

I'll go my way

Far, far away

On miles and miles of misty waves where sail the ships,

Evening clouds hang low in boundless Southern skies.

Parting lovers would grieves as of old.

How could I stand this clear autumn day so cold!

Where shall I be found at day's early break

From wine awake?

Moored by a riverbank planted with willow trees

Beneath the waning moon and in the moring breeze.

I'll be gone for a year.

In vain would good times and fine scenes appear!

However gallant I am on my part,

To whom can I lay bare my heart?



Sunday, July 1, 2007

Sadness -- The Great Firewall of China

After I go back to China, I can not update this blog. I will be blocked in the other side of the world by “The Great Firewall” .

I won't know this until just now, when my Chinese friends told me that they could not open my blog!

What can I say?

What should I do?

I want to cry...............








Endless Anguish !!!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Father: Before I was born

Yellowed Picture

I knew my Dad, a young husband, from a yellowed photograph, which was taken when my parents wedded.


In the picture, Dad was against by Mom, a fair lady in a fashion dress and hair style in those days.

In his new millitary uniform, with a cluster of medal pinched on his left chest, Dad was smiling in his typical one, raising a corner of the mouth slightly. Clearly shining the eyes, and gleaming with confidence honed by countless battles during the wars in Anti-Japanese and Liberation.

It was Dad, in this yellowed-old picture.

No one would know how I am proud of this handsome and heroic man, even though in today, when I face his muddy eyes under the grey-white eyebrow.


Monday, June 25, 2007

My Complaining


Philip always complains that I always complain, and my complaining was boosted up after my daughter was involved in the Compulsory Education system in China. My daughter, Sunny, who is going to be 9-year-old at the end of this month, she spent her 1st grade in a public elementary school in China; the 2nd grade, in a private school, also in China; the 3rd grade, in a classical school in Chicago; and the 4th grade, we will go back to China. During my daughter stayed in China’s elementary school, both of us were suffering the sardine-like class room, slow reading course, and depressed relationship with teachers.

I complained about the crowded class room. These pictures below were taken in my daughter’s public school in her 1st grade.
What a beatiful school !
What a Broad Field!

What a crowded class room!

At that time, 50 students were packed like sardines in a room. But, when you look at the map below, you will know my daughter was still a little lucky. It was lucky that my daughter was in a big size class, not a king size one. In the king size classes, teachers could not recognize their students even if they stayed together for a whole year!
So, for the 2nd grade, I transferred my daughter to a private school, which there was 35 students per class, and cost me ten percent of my year income every year!

I complained about the snail-slow reading course. This is the first lesson for the 3rd grade reading class, when my daughter went to a classical school in Chicago. This story covers 15 pages, and the whole text book contains over 700 pages.

This is an image chosen from a 3rd grade reading book of China’s elementary school. If my daughter stayed in China, she would use this book. There are 500 words and 3 half-page in this lesson.

As far as I know, children in United States start reading and writing in their 5-year-old, in kindergarten. In China, there are some education experts oppose children reading early. Most kids in China learn their first word in 1st grade. But my daughter, before she went to school, she was an independent reader. After one week of her 1st year in school, I found that she could recite all the reading text from beginning to the end. This snail-slow reading classes spoils students reading interest, so that reading has become a severe problem in Chinese literature education.

I complained about depressed relationship with teacher. In China, a teacher are commanders and conquers in each class. Although there no any rule demanding students should obey teacher unconditionally, in fact, no one dare to disobey teachers.

Collectivism, discipline, and respecting teachers – no way to flee.

After my daughter came to Chicago, she felt very happy. One day she told me, “Mom, in Chicago, I can drink water in class. But in China, we were forbidden to drink in class no matter how thirsty we were, while the teacher was holding her tea mug when she was teaching in the class. ”

It seams like Chinese teachers do not like students to ask them questions, not matter in class or after class. In my daughter’s 2nd grade year, in the private school in China, she once asked her literature teacher a question about an assignment. She asked something like, “Mrs. Wang, what is this? I don’t understand it. ” The literature teacher, who was an old lady and I could peek her bald patch at the top of her head, responded, “you did not listen to my class.” That was all her answer to my daughter’s question! Finally, I helped my daughter to get an answer from a website forum.
Sardine-like class room, slow reading course, and depressive relationship with teacher, these were I and my daughter were suffering, while Philip was suffering my compaining for these years. I have to admit that I am not a good- tempered housewife. But in today's China every body seems lack of enough good temper, because everyone has to struggle for a little peace in their life, which is the price in a developing country has to pay.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Not Heaven Not Hell


Hi guys! I'm going to thank you for your listening and complements for my speech.

Do you know what’s inside of me when I stood here last week? When Ryan asked me whether I was nervous during I made the speech, it took me a couple of seconds to find an answer to him. My problem is not nervous, which is a butterfly in a stomach. I had no butterfly in my stomach, but I had thousands of bees in my brain. There were too many thoughts occurred in my mind.
You can't imagine how busy my brain was at that moment. Thousands of ideas were buzzing in every second of the three minutes when I stood here to make the ice-breaker speech.

I stepped on stage, the camera boy who wore a bake toast knitting hat, and counted from 3 to 1. I was wondereding whether the hat was useful to prevent him from the sun shine at noon.

I could see the Japanese girl who always sat herself at the back of the classroom, curved her mouth corner in a smile, with the eyes sparkling. I love the sheer golden brown color. Golden brown hair, eyebrow, and even the lip compounded her sort of pale face, creating a crystal-like pureness. Oh, I would go to look for this golden brown lip stick tomorrow.

The guy in red T-shirt was staring at me, it remind me of his giant shining HP laptop I saw in the first class. His eyes were flashing, does he like my speech?
Suddenly, Ryan’s bony forefinger rocketed into the ceiling, 1 minute, 2 minute, and I was surprised to find that I was changing every word which I had prepared for this presentation.

“Three minute”, Ryan’s cold-blooded voice drove me grounded from the cloud. My speech was end, and the thousands of buzzing bees vanished. Whew, public speech is not as difficult as I had expected. I was there, where wasn’t heaven, not hell. I am that I am.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Chicago Smile

I am a freshman of America and Chicago. I came to Chicago last August. I can remember that day when I stepped out of O’Hare airport, the blooming lavender jumped into my eyes. I was so happy to see so many lavenders were planted in the sidewalk, because there were no lavenders planted in my home town.

A couple days later, after I unpacked the baggage stuff, and settled in an apartment, I began to cruise around this city. I found there was another thing attracted me. It was smile, Chicago smile.



Everyday, when I walked through the corridor of my building, several unknown women or men will greet me, “Hi!”

When my eyes encounter strangers’ eyes on sidewalks, they would give me a sweet smile.


Every morning, after I fix breakfasts, struggle to wake up my daughter, and prepare my husband’s lunch box, I and my daughter rush out of the building. I am utterly discomfited, until I get on a round 8 bus, a CTA driver’s shining smile soothes me. At the moment, I feel I am in lavender’s aroma again, peace and calm.

In China, smile is sort of a cautious job. It is weird to smile at a stranger, even if he is you neighbor.
If someone I don’t know smiles at me on streets, I will think warily, “What is the guy gonna to do with me?”


There is a discipline to the staffs in Wal-Mart China, “Smile at the customer who you meet within 3 meters”. The staffs who break this rule will receive a punishment from the company. However, when the staffs smile at me in the market, I do not feel comfortable at all.

So I understand why the Chinese characters in Hollywood movie were designed so cold, mysterious, and expressionless. This is a reflection on Chinese people.

Why do Chinese people seldom smile? Don’t they know politeness?

A friend from New York told me, “You can not find as many smile in New York as in Chicago, because New York people are busy and tired.”

I got an answer from what my friend told me..

China is a crowded country; there are always too many people struggle for too little resource. China is undergoing a tremendous change in every aspects of the society and people’s life. Everybody in China is unavoidable suffering high pressure. They are tired, exhausted. They hardly afford the energy to give a stranger a shining, sweet smile.



"THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE". When we face different culture, it is easier to find the discrepancy. But to understand another culture background is another story. It depends on information accumulation. The more you know, the more you may understand. Before we could give judgment about something unknown, what we should do is open-mined, and tolerant.




Monday, June 11, 2007

Chinese Lion

Chinese people are fond of lions very much. To Chinese people, lions stand for power, fortune and wisdom.
As the king of mammals, lions became symbols of power and strength. In ancient China, only emperor, government, or rich people use lion’s sculptures guarding their house, because they believe lion's power would fortify their solemnness. Nowadays China, we can find these sculptures stand in front of the gate of every important building, government, bank, company, and college or university.



Lion’s figures are popular in folk society for they may bring joy and fortune. Lion Dances, which exist in China over thousand years, is another important and traditional way to celebrate happy events. Lion Dance is easier to carry out for it can be operated by a single dancer, while Long Dances need over tens people to perform.
Roughly, Lion Dance divided into north style and south style.
Look at the pictures below:

The first picture is the costume for south style lion dance, while second is north style.


There is a question about Chinese lion. Chinese people are very familiar with lions’ image, from kids to old ladies, wherever in far away villages or cities. But there are no wild lions ever lived in Chinese land, and no lion fossils have been found in China. How did ancient Chinese people know so many things about lion?

There are two guesses to this issue. One said that there were wild Asian lion lived in China, but they were hunted and eaten up by Chinese people, because Chinese people are good eaters. Another said that there had been wild Asian lions lived in ancient Persian and India, and they were imported through Silk Road.

Which guess is more reasonable?


Lions are one of Buddhism's most potent symbols. Lions can be found in Sutra and Buddhism artwork two thousand years ago. In Sutra, Buddha's teachings are referred to as the ‘Lion's Roar’, representing power, wisdom, and definiteness. Manjushri, a bodhisattvas symbolizing wisdom, rides on a lion.
Buddhism originated in India 2500 years ago, and arrived in China in the 2nd century BC, along with the opening of Silk Road. It is not surprised that the lion came into China with Buddhism.

Lions’ concepts and figures penetrate daily life of Chinese people, but everybody forget where they come from. This is a typical example relating “culture melting”.

Jun 11, 2007 in HWC library

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Flower or not


Abdel wrote this proverb in his blog this week, “Who wants the peace, prepare the war”. This saying means there is no peace without war. It sounds ridiculous. However, after you look backward, it seems everything in this world you could not get without a payment, struggling is what you need to pay. So, for a time being, I have to admit this truth, war for peace. But, is it really could get a real heart peace after so many struggling?

For many years, I have a dream about my peace life which I can not completely resist its attempt today. I always dream about my backyard with an old phoenix tree covered by dark green leaves, swaying near my window. Inside the window, there is a neat desk without any tiny dust or disorder paper, shinning its sheer brown in the light through the window. An opened book which I was reading a couple minutes before is left on the desk. The warm coffee flavor is floating in the air, which I am making in the white, bright and big kitchen. I have plenty of time so I can gaze at the phoenix tree hour and hour. I can read my favorite book at any time and stop at any time. I do not care about the dinner menu; I won’t be bother by the cooking odor on my hair. And, I do not need to rush to pick up my kid. Everything is under my control, including my heart.

But, how about the phoenix tree is not planted in my backyard? How about the thick leaves cover the ground I have to clean up just because I should pay for his beauty during the summer and autumn? How about a piece of leaflet tucked in a pile of newspaper left on my desk? The dinner and picking up are hard to omit otherwise it certainly cost me not only the money. Peace is so fragile; it would disappear before you really get hold of it.


It is flowers or not.

It is fog or not.

It comes at midnight, leaves at DAWN.

It comes like a fancy dream, pretty and short;

It leaves like morning dew without spot.


This poem was written by a famous Chinese poet in Tang Dynasty, Bai Ju Yi. With this poem, he left a puzzle in this world over thousand years. Up to now, no one in this earth could figure out what the poet was telling. But, today I can guess that it is about peace, which is so rare to get hold of even if someone have been struggling so much, longing for so much.

Peace is not a fortune which you could not assume just right in the street corner. If you always believe that the peace is right somewhere waiting for you, you never can get it. For many years, I have been traveling around the earth, from plain to tableland, from ocean to mountain, from orient to occident. I am tracing a dreaming peace, like the persistent crazy man Kua Fu tracing the sun. Finally, I found that I never get rid of something no matter how far I went. The more I long for, the more pain I get, and the farther the peace is. No matter how many roads I had walked down, I just could not escape from my heart. Everything surround me looks like helpless with my dream. How can a busy heart find its peace?

Peace is just at the top of one’s nose, in every moment, if you have peaceful heart. Like someone wears a pair of green or brown sunglasses, when you look through the screens, everything is in the color of green or brown. The same, what a peaceful heart can feel? Peace, that’s all. You can not escape from your heart, so, just stay with it, with the peace, if it was.

There is an old story in China. An old lady had two

sons, elder one sold umbrellas, and younger one sold salt. When it was rainy, the old lady worried about the younger one’s salt would be affected with damp and had no business. When it was sunny, she would worried about the elder one could not sold the umbrellas. She suffered this worriment for a long time until she accepted a wisdom suggestion. In sunny days, she thought that the younger son would have a good sale; in rainy days, she thought there must be a plenty of people need to buy her elder son’s umbrella. The old lady was happy at last. She obtained her peace by change her mind.

This story demonstrats what the Buddha had told us that surrounding depends on mind, surrounding would be changed as mind’s changing; everything in the world is nothing but mind.

Also, there is similar lesson told by Jesus, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." A Christian must know to find peace of heart, only what they should do is by knowing how to follow God's will. Where is God guiding to? To my understanding, it is no more than one’s heart, the trinity heart.

Peace on Earth Begins with Inner Peace. This is my faith.


*****************************

There are so many flowers in spring as well as the moon in autumn.

There is cool breeze in summer as well as the snows in winter.

If there is not tangle lingering in one’s heart,

All of them would be a good season in the world.

Spring Song

Finding Inner Peace in a World Full of Turmoil

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Reaction to AUTHORITY HEURISTICS


Professor G raises a big question in his article Authority Heuristics, which he discuss the heuristics distance may cause distortion when we seek to know a kind of foreign law, because our prior knowledge would effect the result what we want to explore. In Prof. G’s words, “This knowledge-shaping (or “cognitive”) role is of fundamental important, because it conditions all knowledge of foreign law.”

This is a big problem, for I understand the cognizing method of human being is no more than comparing and contrasting, except new born babies. All of the knowledge acquiring, all understanding must be based on prior knowledge. People compare or contrast their prior knowledge and experiences with the new one, and then shape and form the new experiences and the new knowledge. It is something like that every body has a piece of color paper, when they apply new color on it, it will show different result, due to their foundation color is different. The basic color is the prior knowledge; the resulting color is the knowledge what the people get. It is obvious that the result is neither the prior one nor the new knowledge, everyone has a unique idea, for everyone has a different mind structure with different knowledge back ground. So, Prof. G’s observation is really sharp, unveiling a truth.

But, how could we solve this impossible settling problem? How to narrow the distortion cause by the heuristics distance in Authority Documents? This is what the article interested me. Prof. G is like a God flying in the sky, but most important for him is to land steadily and safely on the ground, providing a solution for the fact he has unveiled. As a jurisconsult, Prof. G should be realistic.

I reach Prof.G’s solution of the problem after following his statements and discussions and describing about the problem in the main part of the essay, in a smaller part at the end of the article, Prof. G suggests a solution is to pay more attention to the user of a kind of foreign law in its legal systems. This answer could not really satisfy me. I could see Pro.G lands down on the ground with its tip toe from the God’s sky. And, I am worrying about! The user of the foreign law, how to identify or evaluate the user, this is another cognitive process, and it is unavoidable to be effected by prior experience and knowledge and results another heuristics distance. What can we do with it?

After reading this article, I finally find it is lucky that there are still a lot of items in this world, such as music, painting, art works, and anybody could communicate and reach to a same destination through the same work piece without language. I believed that there are some thing in human being’s world could forward their information directly without language. But law would never be this story!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The Story of Time



Tranlated by Dawn

Spring flowers, autumn wind, and winter sunset;

Blue youth, naively I once thought when I was young.
Day by day in season circle's song the windmill was turning ;
Year by year in emotional poems I was growing up.
Flows carried the time's story away and changed one
Just in the sentimental but first-wating youth

Yellowed photos, old letters, and faded Xmas cards.
You might forget the songs written for you when I was young.
Past vows were like the colorful bookmarks in text books,
with so many beautiful peoms but disappeared like smoke afterall.
Flows carried the time's story away and changed two
Just in the sentimental but first-weeping youth

Far away journey, yesterday's dream, and the fading out laughing sound
How many roads we had walked down before we would see once more ?
No more the one with wild dreams I acquainted before;
Nor the one with changeless smiles you acquainted in old days.
Flows carried the time's story away and changed us
Just in the sentimental but first-recalling youth

Flows carried the time's story away and changed us

Just in the sentimental but first-recalling youth

Listen to the song